Quilts and Crafts-To Gift or Not To Gift

I've followed numerous quilting and crafting blogs over the years.  Some inspire.  Some teach.  Some just make me smile.  All are bright and happy snapshots of a creative life well lived.  There is a sad side, a bad side, a dark side, if you will, to crafting that no one ever talks about though.  Gifting.  

What can possibly be bad about giving a gift?  As the artist, you dream, plan and create a little (or big!) something that you are sure the recipient will adore.  It's worth oh so much more because it didn't come from a store.  It came from the heart.  It will be met with hugs and smiles which are worth more than a thank you any day.  

But what happens when it's not?
What happens when you give a gift and it is met with a blank stare?

Are you ready for the heartbreak of: 

• Seeing the tote bag you made as a thank you gift for your child's teacher on the arm of a stranger?
• Finding the quilt you made for your newest family member tossed in the corner, filthy from having been stepped on numerous times.
• Being told that one of the two afghans you made for your in-laws has been packed away in a chest, to be given back to you upon their deaths.
• Receiving months of compliments on your work from an old friend, sending them a quilt and never hearing from them again. 
• Giving friends numerous handmade gifts only to learn that they aren't true friends after all.  

Small examples of the the perils of gifting, all of them, but each is a personal experience that I now own as part of my history.  

The tote bag was picked up by the new owner at a yard sale for $3.00.  It still looked brand new.

The baby quilt was stained, ripped and ruined inside of three months.  I haven't seen it since.

The second afghan was intentionally picked apart by my MIL and thrown in the trash after a family argument.  The other afghan, made for my FIL, is still new and will be returned to us along with items from my husband's childhood.  I've been told that a detailed letter of all of my personal failings will accompany the chest.  

I've lost two friends after sending them quilts and/or supplies to learn how to quilt.  I don't think I will ever learn why.

Surely I'm not the only one who has been discouraged or upset after giving a handmade gift.  Some people are cruel and thoughtless.  It seems to be the norm in society these days.  Do I have regrets?  Yes and no, but it is my nature to care and to share although I'm not so anxious to give personalized gifts anymore.  

My solution?  A two-prong approach.

Crafting for animals in need - Shelter animals barely receive the essentials much less something to call their own.  As I enjoy the company of animals more so than humans any day, it's definitely the perfect solution.  

School Raffles/Fundraisers - My oldest is in high school now and they hold several fundraisers each year.  This coming Fall, they plan to sell real pumpkins and scarecrows crafted by the student body.  

I've made 25 handcrafted fabric pumpkins to add to their sale table.  They can sell them for any price they choose with 100% profit.  The kids don't have to go door-to-door or peddle merchandise no one really wants.  Plus, they were fun to make and I learned a new craft to boot!  

There are several different sizes made from three different prints.  Each one is unique, having an original leaf style or color and either yarn, twine or perle cotton decoration for the segmenting.  

It's gift crafting with a purpose and without the heartbreak of giving art that is unappreciated. Win for all!    

On a happier note, I started a Facebook page about 18 months ago, which is where I've been posting instead of here.  Look for the new page at Sugar Tree Stitching Handmade!  

School is out...finally!  This year, we had a really great experience with my youngest son's 3rd grade teacher.  The whole year was just a series of really good days.  As a thank you, we wanted to do something extra special for her, a bit above and beyond the traditional gift card or coffee mug.  After a bit of online reading, I learned that most teachers hate the gifts they receive and just wind up selling them or giving them away.  Candles, coffee mugs, candy, plants, flowers.  Year after year, it's the same old thing.  What they really want is gift cards to spas, liquor stores or coffee shops for those who feel entitled.  Cold, hard cash for school supplies or a little card or letter of thanks from the child, for those who don't.  Seeing as how we already bought $50 worth of Yankee Candle stuff (my son's idea) before we read that candles were a bad idea, we decided to take the more expensive one back and buy school supplies with the money instead.

We printed the school supply list from her website and bought two of each thing.  Into a little plastic tote it all went with the Yankee Candle that we didn't take back.  But it all didn't seem "personal" enough, even with cards of thanks from both of us.  My son wanted to make a little mug rug to put under the candle, but the design morphed into this wall quilt.  The colors are all of his choosing and he helped me to create the pattern, as well. 

My son said she seemed pleased with the entire package, which made him very happy.  It may not be a gift card to the spa, but it came from the heart. 


I'm knee deep into the lattice quilt for Sarah and elbow deep into my entry for the county fair, but sometimes I just have to take a break and do something quick and fun. 

My boys have discovered the fun of having a penpal.  Their penpal is the autistic son of Eagle1's boss at his new job.  Each time Little E gets a letter or postcard from NY, it just makes his day.  His father tells Eagle1 that he reads them over and over again and sometimes takes the cards to bed at night. 

I thought it would be a fun surprise to send him a little present along with the next letter the boys write.  According to his letters and his Dad, he likes the ocean, surfing, fishing, hiking and just about all things outdoors.  His favorite colors are blue and green, in particular the ocean shades of blue and green.  So, a few strips of pretty color and some applique later, we have a 18" sq wall hanging that Little E can hang next to his surfer poster in his room.  Now, we are just waiting for another letter from Little E so that we can "reply" to him.  I wish we could be there to see his smile.  :) 

I'm off to find a pattern for Build-A-Bear boxer shorts so that our new "children" don't get us arrested for indecent exposure.  Happy Stitching to all!